How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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