I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
