This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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