The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
