I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
The air taste purple.
Randomize
