I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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