You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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