i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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