also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
