Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
