no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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