he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
