At least make sure they are 18
Why
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
