my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
We need a shit load of segways right now
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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