Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
So much rum. So many feels.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
