You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
