i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
