Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize