You just made me feel so damn special
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
