Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Two words: nipple clamps
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