she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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