While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
