evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
