I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
