Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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