So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
