So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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