I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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