i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
