Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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