So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
