Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
