R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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