Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
