no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
