Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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