so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
