Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
