Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
