Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
