i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
