so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize