i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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