i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
