would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
