Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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