Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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