It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
