I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
