Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
People in love make me want to vomit
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
