Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
ttyl tear gas
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
