Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
