I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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