you guys were way drunker than both of me
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
