my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
