My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
So I just went to clothing optional bar
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
