3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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