So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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