I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
did you just send me my own nude
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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