Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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