That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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