Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
