ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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