You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
they're like a gay fantastic four
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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